Tortured Soul
by Leprechaun's Fairy
Summary: After City of Lost Souls "Sebastian" wants something from the Shadowhunters, namely his sister Clary. When the adults consider handing Clary over to buy them time (hey, she'd survived a stay with him before and it's not like he'd hurt his sister, right?) she has to explain why she can't and won't go back to him. (*Contains spoilers from CoLS and mentions of attempted rape.)


**Author's Note:** I read the first Mortal Instruments trilogy waay back in the day when it was first published and then reread them once I'd realized Cassandra Clare had wrote more I read those too but never really felt the need to write fanfiction about the characters though I read a lot of it. But then the movie came out and the newer TV series came out and I kept wondering how they were going to do the whole Sebastian/Jonathan thing and how far they'd go when filming that one scene from City of Lost Souls. You know, that scene where Sebastian/Jonathan attempted rape of his sister...and I wondered if, in the show, they would actual address the attempted rape because they never really did in the book and that upset me. So I'm addressing it here.

* * *

Clary had just settled in a chair outside of the Infirmary when her mom rushed down the hall, her dark red hair flowing behind her.

"Don't worry mom. I know I can't see Jace until Brother Za˗"

"That's not it," Jocelyn interrupted. "We just received a missive from someone. We're to all meet in the Sanctuary so everyone can weigh in on the discussion we need to have about it."

The door to the Infirmary opened and Brother Zachariah appeared from the shadows inside. He looked first at Jocelyn and then Clary. _We will join you as well_ he spoke into their minds.

Clary stood up, her heart pounding. "By 'we' do you mean you and Jace?" she asked as she attempted to peek around the Silent Brother and further into the Infirmary. It had been two days she'd freed Jace from Sebastian's control, inadvertently imbuing him with Heavenly fire instead of killing him (thank the Angel) and she'd yet to see him. Something about safety issues and what not which her mother was quick to bring up.

"I'm not sure that would be wise, Brother Zachariah. I can only imagine how angry this will make Jace."

Clary couldn't hear what Brother Zachariah said next but it didn't take long for Jocelyn to bow her head in agreement. Then Zachariah walked back into the Infirmary, letting the door shut firmly behind him.

"What's so important that he'd let Jace out?" Clary asked, her eyes glued to the door.

Jocelyn just sighed. "You'll find out soon enough."

Maryse stood up once everyone got over Jace's sudden appearance in the Sanctuary and he was seated a safe distance away from anything that could burn. "I know it's heavenly and all but this Heavenly Fire is a bitch," he muttered, his nose wrinkling at the smell of the fire retardant the Lightwoods had doused the chair with.

"Hush Jace," the Head of the Institute admonished before turning back to the group at large. "I called you here because, just hours ago, we received a message left for us in the library. I don't know when or how it was delivered but I do know who it's from."

"And the messenger is who exactly?" Magnus asked as he toyed with the sparks dancing across his fingertips. He was making a good attempt at seeming normal but his seat, the farthest one from Alec, proved that everything was not oaky between the couple.

"Sebastian. Or Jonathan. Whatever you wish to call him."

Clary froze. Of course she'd wondered, feared that her brother was still alive but she hadn't known for sure.

"What does he want?" Alec asked, his voice tight.

Maryse took a deep breath before replying. "He wants Clary."

Clary shuddered as the voices rose around her. Simon's immediate refusal, Luke's protests, Brother Zachariah's mental reminder that everyone needed to stay calm if there was to be any chance at keeping Jace calm.

"Silence!" Maryse commanded then waited for everyone to do as they were told. "We must discuss this rationally."

"What is there to discuss?" Isabella cried. "Of course can't turn her over to that monster. No offense Jocelyn but your son is a monster."

Jocelyn just shrugged her shoulders helplessly and Clary felt her mouth fill with the acrid taste of bile. Could her mother really be thinking of turning her over to him? "Mom, you can't!"

Maryse's voice drowned out Clary's cry. "Let's just think about this for a minute. Sebastian doesn't have the Infernal Cup so he's not that huge of a threat, at least not to Clary. He's already proven that he won't hurt her. Sending her to him would give us time to figure out a better plan."

Jocelyn reached out for Clary's hand. "Maryse is right. Jonathan loves you."

Sebastian's promises roared in Clary's ears and she couldn't keep the hysterical laugh from erupting. She looked her mother right in the eye when she finally spoke up. "If only you knew," she whispered. "If you knew you wouldn't ask this of me."

Clary's whisper echoed in the silence that had fallen as they'd strained to hear what the mother and the sister of the enemy had to say about the situation.

Simon shot Jace a look. "What exactly happened in that floating house of horror?"

The fire burned bright under Jace's skin. "We were there for weeks and Sebastian was…is crazy. Lots of things happened. And the three of us weren't always together."

Jocelyn reached up and gently turned Clary's face towards her, forcing her daughter to look her in the eye. "It couldn't have been that bad, could it Clary?"

Clary took in a deep shuddering breath but didn't speak. She didn't know what she'd do if they forced her to tell them…

And then Maryse asked just that. "Clarissa Fairchild. If we do as Sebastian asks we could have valuable, possibly even life saving, time to find another way to defeat him. Right now we are assuming that your brother's love for you would keep you safe if we were to send you to him so if you believe otherwise you must tell us why."

Clary looked at each of her friends and fellow Shadowhunters in turn. Most looked concerned for her or, in the case of Jace and Simon, angry. It was as though they already knew how badly they were going to take what she had to say.

"I…Magnus?" the redhead gasped out as she turned to face the warlock. "Is there a way to magically project my memories so everyone could see for themselves what happened?"

Magnus took a minute to think it through. "Yes, there is something. I can actually bounce your memories off of what you subconsciously saw in any reflective surface, even Sebastian's eyes, so that what happened will play out like a moving picture show. Will that work?"

Clary nodded. Although seeing it all play out would be awful she knew saying the words would be much, much worse. "What do you need me to do?"

Magnus stood up and walked towards the smooth interior wall of the Sanctuary and stepped off to one side, one hand brushing against the stone. "Stand here, hold my hand and think of whatever it is you want to show us," he said as he held out his other hand to the girl.

Her legs feeling like lead, Clary did as she was told. "This is what happened before we all fought for the Infernal Cup," she said, closing her eyes as the magic rushed through her and her memories began to play across the wall Magnus was touching with his other hand.

Every second was engrained in her mind and as the scene started she found herself hoping it wouldn't turn out like she knew it would. But then the first hint of wrongness struck when Sebastian's taunted her about the fingernail marks she'd left on Jace's, and therefore also Sebastian's, back. With her knowledge of what was about to happen next she could hear the glee, the arousal in his voice.

Her adrenaline spiked in real time as, in her memories, she ran from her brother and he slammed her into the wall. That was the moment any hopes for a Sebastian/Jonathan redemption had been shattered in her eyes.

 _"Literally screwed Jace over…I hope he at least made it good for you. I would have."_

Clary's eyes were screwed up tight as the words were pulled from her memory but she could still hear the gasps of horror and disgust and the angry curses that fell from her friends' lips.

She trembled and Magnus held her hand tight as it just got worse and worse. Sebastian forcing his tongue into her mouth, Sebastian quoting Bible verses that he'd explicitly twisted to suit his own needs. And then there it was, Sebastian slamming her back into the glass table and attempting to pull off her jeans, only stopping when he struggled with the button and she took advantage of his distraction by stabbing him with a shard of glass in first his shoulder and then his thigh.

Her eyes snapped open and she pulled her hand from Magnus, causing the magic displaying her memories to cut off abruptly yet the room was still bright, unnaturally so and Clary instinctively turned to Jace. The blonde's hands were clutching the wood of the chair arms and smoke rose to the ceiling. It looked like an explosion was imminent but even though the danger was great Brother Zachariah stood by his side, clearly trying to talk him down.

It was enough of a worry that Clary's anger and fear and disgust with her brother didn't exactly disappear but it did fade into the background. "Jace, I'm…well I'm not exactly fine but I'm okay. It's okay," she soothed as she walked as close to her boyfriend as the Silent Brother would allow.

The room fell silent as the heat and fire in Jace's veins flared and then ebbed and he took a ragged breath. "Why didn't you tell us about this before?" he asked as he lifted his hands from the armrests he'd scorched.

Clary shrugged. "There hasn't really been time. And, compared to everything else, it didn't seem so important."

Maryse cleared her throat and everyone turned to look at her. "You are a Shadowhunter Clary and a good friend to my children. When somebody hurts you we want to know."

"I just can't believe it," Jocelyn whispered, her eyes wide in shock. "I knew there was something wrong with him but I didn't know it was this bad."

Clary couldn't even begin to imagine what her mother was feeling. By the Angel, their family was so complicated.

"So what now?" Alec asked.

"One thing we know for sure. Clary won't be going to Sebastian," Luke said. Everyone quickly agreed.

Clary's strength increased with the support of her family and friends and she stood up tall. "Now we end this. Once and for all."


End file.
